Are your actions coming out of wholeness or anxiety? A meditation on why I write.

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Recently I read a book about Buddhism and one of the main messages that stuck with me was:

Examine your motives for doing anything that you are about to do. Is it out of wholeness or is it out of anxiety?

It’s interesting when you start asking that question each time you are about to do something.  I haven’t posted in a while, because I’ve been examining my motivations for my writing, which led me to write this poem:

Why I write – a poem

I don’t know why I want to write,

is it for me, is it for you?

Is it because I want to seem bright?

Is it because my ego craves the spotlight?

 

Of course I tell myself and you

that it’s because I want to share my thoughts,

and inspire you.

I want to share what I learn with the world,

so that it may also benefit too,

but is this really true?

 

I look deep inside.

Writing is a creative expression that I love,

sometimes things come out, that I wasn’t even aware of.

Sometimes they are like messages from above.

 

Other times though, it’s just my ego,

wanting to collect more likes and shares,

counting the clicks and views,

the comments and praise.

 

Does anyone care if I write?

Does anyone even read it?

In the end it doesn’t matter.

It makes me happy when I put finger to keyboard,

when all thinking ceases and just a stream of words come out,

sometimes sounding good and sometimes not.

It’s my connection to myself, to consciousness, to God.

 

Perhaps no one cares about these words,

but that doesn’t really matter.

I don’t want to tailor for the crowds,

because that wouldn’t be from the heart.

But if you find some inspiration in what I write,

it’s also a good start.

And I’m happy for that too,

although I write for me, and not for you.

With that I want to wish all a happy rest of the holidays, and remember to always put yourself first.  By making yourself happy, you’ll make others happy too.

Lots of love and peace.

 

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4 Responses to Are your actions coming out of wholeness or anxiety? A meditation on why I write.

  1. mosanami etal says:

    This arrived in my inbox two days ago. Timely indeed. A splendid read which I’ve enjoyed several times. I will resist my natural impulse to respond to something gets my blood flowing. Yup! Just gonna breathe in and enjoy it — again and again :-) All I will say is… Thank You! And enjoy the remainder of the Holiday season, one day at a time. Love & Peace Backatcha!
    – Mosa

  2. Hi Maia,

    Interesting post. Have been recently feeling the same way in my post on identity crisis. On why I do what I do. Or continue doing things which I don’t like to do, etc. It’s nice to find others who ask similar questions or different points of view so that I myself can reflect upon my own actions and personal motivations.

    Thank you and have a great new year ahead!

    • Maia says:

      Hi, thanks for the comment. I also read your post on the identity crisis you mentioned and left a comment. Happy New Year to you too!

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