I ❤ me
The main message is that any problems you have in your life now are there because you don’t love yourself enough and deep down you hold the belief that “I’m not good enough”. The fact that you don’t love yourself makes you think that you’re unworthy of deserving a good life and the law of attraction says what you believe is what you get. “The Universe is a yes Universe”, whatever you think it will give you, both the good and the bad. It is your thoughts that create your reality, and thoughts can be changed.
I’ve never had a problem loving myself as far as I’m aware, but Hay actually tells you to stand in front of the mirror and speak to your reflection saying your name followed by “I love you, I really love you. I approve of you” Hay says to repeat to yourself “I approve of you” as many times as you can during the course of each day. Now affirmations are the height of self-help cheesiness I know, but as a self confessed personal development enthusiast I knew I had to try it. So I did. I have to say initially I felt silly, and uncomfortable, Hay recommends to give yourself a compliment every time you pass by the mirror until you get used to doing it all the time.
I always thought that I was super good at loving myself, I knew I loved myself. I knew I loved myself because once I was talking to my friend about a boyfriend of mine at the time, and she asked: “Do you love him?” I replied that I wasn’t sure. She then asked “Do you love yourself?” And I straight away answered yes. That’s when I realised that when you love someone, you just know and if you’re not sure then you don’t love them.
Never ever criticise yourself, is another rule of Hay’s. I realised that I criticise myself all the time, but I had never really thought about it as not loving myself, but in a way it is like that. I also realised that usually when I walk past a mirror, I look at myself and find something to criticise or not be completely happy with.
Not criticising yourself doesn’t mean you’re perfect, but it means that you encourage yourself rather than discourage yourself. For example something happens, you snap at someone, or you say something stupid, or you make a mistake, and you start saying to yourself ”oh no, I’m such an idiot, why did I do or say that” then you feel guilty about it and think about it way longer than it deserves to be thought about. So if you make a mistake, instead you need to say to yourself. “Oh well, I did it as best as I knew how”, and move on, learn from it, done. The best thing about not criticising yourself is that you stop criticising others as well. If you don’t even criticise yourself how can you criticise someone else?
Dealing with difficult people: forgive and let go
Hay says that relationships are only mirrors of ourselves. The things you don’t like about any person in your life are either what you yourself do, or what you believe. So you need to recognise this trait in yourself and stop doing it. Then the people around you will stop doing it or they’ll disappear from your life.
Hay’s advice for dealing with difficult people, is to see the best in them. Forgive them for whatever they’ve done to you and see that they are only people trying to be happy and they are doing the best they can like everybody else. Everybody can have a Hitler or a mother Teresa in them.
A lot of people’s time is spent being angry at someone for doing something to them and being angry at themselves for doing something they regret. The answer is to forgive others as well as yourself, because that’s the only way you can move on. Besides there’s no point worrying about what’s already in the past.
The law of attraction
Sometimes it’s hard to accept that everything that has happened to us up till now, the good things and bad are because we attracted it. But the point of power is in the now and from now on with altering our thoughts we can change our reality.
Hay says that most beliefs come from your parents. So if your parents had some negative beliefs about say money, for example “all rich people are crooks” then you’ll most likely have them too. You need to shift all your limiting beliefs thorough finding them and replacing them with positive thoughts and beliefs which you can do by using affirmations (she gives plenty of examples in her book) and every time you have a negative thought then you need to challenge it and put it back in its place by thinking the opposite positive thought to counteract it.
This is the law of attraction. The Secret was the most popular law of attraction film/book recently and as Napoleon Hill said “thoughts are things”. The law of attraction functions by bringing to you what you think of. Most people think of what they don’t want and in this they attract this very thing to them, because the mind can’t distinguish between I want and don’t want, it just sees the image and takes you to it. That’s why in most car accidents near a tree, people end up hitting the tree. They hit it because they try and avoid it, but by doing this they picture the tree and so the Universe brings them to it.
So instead of thinking for example “my job is so boring, I don’t want to be in this job anymore, it’s not paying me enough money” you have to think “I work at a job that I truly enjoy doing, one that uses my creative talents and abilities, working with great people, and earning a good income.” All these thoughts have to be in the present tense, because if they’re in the future as in “I will have a good income” it will always be in the future and never in the present. You also need to believe you deserve to get the best, which all comes down to believing you are good enough to have it.
Of course the law of attraction cannot be proven, scientifically, but if you’re spiritual you can believe that we are all part of one universe, and the universe responds to what we believe. You could see that we are all energy and interconnected. Our brainwaves generate energy and send it out to the universe which responds to them.
A less spiritual version would be to believe that through our thoughts and affirmations we programme our subconscious mind, which then leads us to our goal. If we say an affirmation like, “I am making good money from my job”. Then subconsciously your mind will try and take you there, because it wants the message it is being given to be true and so it won’t stop until that happens.
Even if you don’t believe either, then what’s the point in thinking negative thoughts when you could be thinking positive ones and feel much better? If you get good results then great, if not you can’t loose anything. Thinking positive thoughts puts you in a better mood and that’s a fact any sceptic can’t deny.
You can heal your life
“Resentment, criticism, guilt and fear cause more problems than anything else.” Hay has a list of all conditions and illnesses saying what negative pattern has caused them and how to program your mind with the positive pattern to heal yourself. She also walks the talk. She had a very difficult childhood, was raped by her neighbor and then abused by her step father. She got pregnant at 16 and gave the child up for adoption, never having any children again. After she started preaching her healing philosophy that is summarised here, she got cancer herself and realised she hadn’t fully let go of the resentment towards the people that abused her when she was young and forgiven them. Hay managed to cure herself with an intense course of affirmations, reflexology and other alternative therapies. She didn’t need to have surgery as her doctors initially advised, because her cancer disappeared, so she is living proof that this method works.
Wishing you peace, love and only positive thoughts.
Photo credit: Milan Jurek