Things I wish I had been taught in school

Class of 2006. Was it all worth it?

Class of 2006. Was it all worth it?

1. Don’t go to college! Instead do as many internships as possible.

There is an argument that internships are actually even better than going to college, especially if you are doing something really non-specific like English literature, or Ancient history. What is the point? Unless you want to go into academia, doing these degrees will only show, that you had to pay someone to make you read books.

Instead doing as many internships from at a young age as possible,  will more likely show  you what you want to do,  and what the real world of work is like, more than any degree could. Take the example from Roman Krznaric’s book How to find Fulfilling Work of a 30 year old who didn’t know what to do with her life,  so for a year she tried out lots of different careers. Only to find out that she loved advertising, it just clicked.

Thinking that you might like doing something, doesn’t actually mean you’ll like doing it, because the idea we have of a job is not the reality. So you might end up studying a subject for a degree and then realise you hate the job after you start doing it. You could have been saved from this if you’d actually done a few weeks work experience or shadowing in your chosen field instead.

2. Public speaking

Many people have a phobia of public speaking. At college and school, most of us had to do a few presentations, but we didn’t get to do many of them, and at least at my college there was no option to do a public speaking course.

Yet public speaking is a skill that you will need in your career and in your life too, and it can be improved by practice. If you can’t speak in public you cannot ever have positions of leadership in your company. You even need speaking skills just to tell a story down the pub to your friends, or give a speech at a friend’s wedding.

I know from experience that when in a group of people I sometimes avoid telling a story, because I don’t want to be the centre of attention, because I’m not confident speaking in front of a larger group. This is all going to change now as I’m joining Toastmasters, which is a great way to get experience in public speaking.

3. Managing your finances 101

So many students end up being in debt after finishing university, especially in the US, but also increasingly in the UK and elsewhere. One argument is that it’s better not going to university in the first place, because it’s expensive and useless.

We should have been taught this at college – the arguments for how to save money and become financially independent, interest rates, how to invest, budgeting and expert opinions about ways to manage your financial affairs. What’s better, work in a job or have your own business?

 4. Personal development

A class on the effects of positive thinking, time management, flow, confidence building and meditation and all the things I’m discovering years later after leaving college, should have been included in my basic education.

Some would argue that this is not an academic discipline, but it’s definitely a life enhancing discipline and if school and college are not there to prepare us for life then what are they for?

Let’s face it how many facts do you remember from biology, chemistry, world history etc? Facts are useful, but not at the expense of learning other, more essential life skills.

6. Starting your own business

I was in a bike store the other day and there was a little kid and a man there.

I’ve got such and such free hours in a year”, the boy announced proudly. It was a LOT of hours.

The man told him “So think of how you are going to use that time to make money.

I thought this is amazing, this child is so lucky. Hopefully by the time he’s sixteen he’ll have his own business and not live off his parents handouts.

I wish I had been encouraged to do the same thing. Adults seem to think that children should enjoy their childhood and just play, because they’ll have to work when they’re older so they might enjoy it while they can. But the reality is that they’ll be unprepared for real life when they grow up and then it will be harder for them to start up their own business while working full time in a 9 – 5 job and paying off their college debt. Kids should make their own money as soon as possible (staying within legal limits of course!).

5. How to apply for a job, have a good CV and interviewing skills

Did you have this class at some point during your studies? I certainly didn’t and I’m educated to a Master’s degree level. This class should be mandatory. By the time you’re sixteen years old you should have a good enough CV to get some sort of job and know how to write good application and interview well. I didn’t even have a good CV by the time I left university, that’s the first time I started thinking of putting a proper one together.

I had to learn the hard way, by trial and error of what makes a good CV and a good a covering letter and how to interview well, and looking around me it seems to be the case for a lot of people out there.

6. Don’t stop looking until you find the work you love

Finding work you love is like a relationship. Some relationships are great in theory, but you just don’t feel they are right for you when you’re in them. Some don’t look so great on paper, but somehow they just click – and it’s the same with jobs.

As Steve Jobs, a college drop-out himself,  said in his now famous Stanford University commencement speech:

“Your work is going to fill a large part of your life, and the only way to be truly satisfied is to do what you believe is great work. And the only way to do great work is to love what you do. If you haven’t found it yet, keep looking. Don’t settle. As with all matters of the heart, you’ll know when you find it. And, like any great relationship, it just gets better and better as the years roll on. So keep looking until you find it. Don’t settle.”

So these are just few things I wish I’d been taught at school or college.  What about you, what do you wish you knew earlier?

 

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The law of attraction: how to heal your life

Babies are born perfect and they know it

Babies are born perfect and they know it

I’ve just finished reading Louise L. Hay’s You Can Heal Your Life, which was recommended to me by a few people and now was the time to give it a go.

I ❤ me

The main message is that any problems you have in your life now are there because you don’t love yourself enough and deep down you hold the belief that “I’m not good enough”. The fact that you don’t love yourself makes you think that you’re unworthy of deserving a good life and the law of attraction says what you believe is what you get. “The Universe is a yes Universe”, whatever you think it will give you, both the good and the bad. It is your thoughts that create your reality, and thoughts can be changed.

I’ve never had a problem loving myself as far as I’m aware, but Hay actually tells you to stand in front of the mirror and speak to your reflection saying your name followed by “I love you,  I really love you. I approve of you” Hay says to repeat to yourself “I approve of you” as many times as you can during the course of each day.  Now affirmations are the height of self-help cheesiness I know, but as a self confessed personal development enthusiast I knew I had to try it. So I did. I have to say initially I felt silly, and uncomfortable, Hay recommends to give yourself a compliment every time you pass by the mirror until you get used to doing it all the time.

I always thought that I was super good at loving myself, I knew I loved myself. I knew I loved myself because once I was talking to my friend about a boyfriend of mine at the time, and she asked: “Do you love him?” I replied that I wasn’t sure. She then asked “Do you love yourself?” And I straight away answered yes. That’s when I realised that when you love someone, you just know and if you’re not sure then you don’t love them.

Never ever criticise yourself, is another rule of Hay’s. I realised that I criticise myself all the time, but I had never really thought about it as not loving myself, but in a way it is like that. I also realised that usually when I walk past a mirror, I look at myself and find something to criticise or not be completely happy with.

Not criticising yourself doesn’t mean you’re perfect, but it means that you encourage yourself rather than discourage yourself. For example something happens, you snap at someone, or you say something stupid, or you make a mistake, and you start saying to yourself ”oh no, I’m such an idiot, why did I do or say that” then you feel guilty about it and think about it way longer than it deserves to be thought about. So if you make a mistake, instead you need to say to yourself. “Oh well, I did it as best as I knew how”, and move on, learn from it, done. The best thing about not criticising yourself is that you stop criticising others as well. If you don’t even criticise yourself how can you criticise someone else?

Dealing with difficult people: forgive and let go

Hay says that relationships are only mirrors of ourselves. The things you don’t like about any person in your life are either what you yourself do, or what you believe. So you need to recognise this trait in yourself and stop doing it. Then the people around you will stop doing it or they’ll disappear from your life.

Hay’s advice for dealing with difficult people, is to see the best in them. Forgive them for whatever they’ve done to you and see that they are only people trying to be happy and they are doing the best they can like everybody else. Everybody can have a Hitler or a mother Teresa in them.

A lot of people’s time is spent being angry at someone for doing something to them and being angry at themselves for doing something they regret. The answer is to forgive others as well as yourself, because that’s the only way you can move on. Besides there’s no point worrying about what’s already in the past.

The law of attraction

Sometimes it’s hard to accept that everything that has happened to us up till now, the good things and bad are because we attracted it. But the point of power is in the now and from now on with altering our thoughts we can change our reality.

Hay says that most beliefs come from your parents. So if your parents had some negative beliefs about say money, for example “all rich people are crooks” then you’ll most likely have them too. You need to shift all your limiting beliefs thorough finding them and replacing them with positive thoughts and beliefs which you can do by using affirmations (she gives plenty of examples in her book) and every time you have a negative thought then you need to challenge it and put it back in its place by thinking the opposite positive thought to counteract it.

This is the law of attraction. The Secret was the most popular law of attraction film/book recently and as Napoleon Hill said “thoughts are things”. The law of attraction functions by bringing to you what you think of. Most people think of what they don’t want and in this they attract this very thing to them, because the mind can’t distinguish between I want and don’t want, it just sees the image and takes you to it. That’s why in most car accidents near a tree, people end up hitting the tree. They hit it because they try and avoid it, but by doing this they picture the tree and so the Universe brings them to it.

So instead of thinking for example “my job is so boring, I don’t want to be in this job anymore, it’s not paying me enough money” you have to think “I work at a job that I truly enjoy doing, one that uses my creative talents and abilities, working with great people, and earning a good income.” All these thoughts have to be in the present tense, because if they’re in the future as in “I will have a good income” it will always be in the future and never in the present.  You also need to believe you deserve to get the best, which all comes down to believing you are good enough to have it.

Of course the law of attraction cannot be proven, scientifically, but if you’re spiritual you can believe that we are all part of one universe, and the universe responds to what we believe. You could see that we are all energy and interconnected. Our brainwaves generate energy and send it out to the universe which responds to them.

A less spiritual version would be to believe that through our thoughts and affirmations we programme our subconscious mind, which then leads us to our goal. If we say an affirmation like, “I am making good money from my job”. Then subconsciously your mind will try and take you there, because it wants the message it is being given to be true and so it won’t stop until that happens.

Even if you don’t believe either, then what’s the point in thinking negative thoughts when you could be thinking positive ones and feel much better? If you get good results then great, if not you can’t loose anything. Thinking positive thoughts puts you in a better mood and that’s a fact any sceptic can’t deny.

You can heal your life

Resentment, criticism, guilt and fear cause more problems than anything else.” Hay has a list of all conditions and illnesses saying what negative pattern has caused them and how to program your mind with the positive pattern to heal yourself. She also walks the talk. She had a very difficult childhood, was raped by her neighbor and then abused by her step father. She got pregnant at 16 and gave the child up for adoption, never having any children again. After she started preaching her healing philosophy that is summarised here, she got cancer herself and realised she hadn’t fully let go of the resentment towards the people that abused her when she was young and forgiven them.  Hay managed to cure herself with an intense course of affirmations, reflexology and other alternative therapies. She didn’t need to have surgery as her doctors initially advised, because her cancer disappeared, so she is living proof that this method works.

Wishing you peace, love and only positive thoughts.

Maia

Photo credit: Milan Jurek

Posted in Books, Spirituality | Tagged , , | 4 Comments

How to get rich: Cut costs, save and invest

pink piggy bankRecently I’ve been reading two awesome blogs about early retirement.  They say that to retire early you need to save as much as you can, which is ideally 50 – 75% of your income. Early retirement here is defined as financial independence (FI). Once you reach FI you can, you are free to work if you want to, but you don’t have to.

Mr Money Mustache retired at age 30 along with his wife and son, and Jacob Lund Fisker, of Early Retirement Extreme retired at 33.

What’s their secret?

Cut costs, save and invest. These two chaps were lucky enough to have good salaries when they started their careers and have saved since they can remember, saving over 50% of their salaries and learning to live on less. But no matter how old you are,  it’s never too late to start saving and early retirement is achievable on whatever income you may have. Jacob Lund Fisker for example lives on only $7000 a year.

If you learn to live and learn to enjoy living on less than 50% of your salary, every year, you have saved enough for a year of your life. It’s not just a financial exercise but a change of lifestyle, appreciating the simple pleasures of life and freedom as opposed to owning houses that are too big, clothes that are overpriced, souped-up cars and the latest gadgets, which in the long run will not make you happy.

Top tips for reaching early retirement

1. Save as much as you can, learn to live on 50% of your income

2. Get a cheaper place to live in, rent a room instead of an apartment.

3. Live within walking or cycling distance of your work

4. Always bike or walk when you can unless you’re travelling outside of town

6. Cook at home – don’t eat out, learn to cook from scratch and take your lunch to  work with you

7. If you do ever eat out on special occasions or go out with friends, then only get a drink and a main course. No starters or desserts, they add unnecessary charges to your bill and unnecessary calories to your waistline. Pay only for what you had, instead of splitting the bill.

8. Use the bike, run or walk instead of the gym. Get a set of dumbbells and use them at home

9. Don’t buy cheap stuff that will break, buy good quality stuff that will last, saving you money in the long term

10. Don’t buy more clothes you don’t need

11. Do sweat the small stuff – cutting out all small regular purchases like your take-out coffee habit from Starbucks and take outs for lunch will save you lots in the long term.

12. Learn to fix your own things

13. Don’t waste electricity and gas in the house

14. If you can, move to another city where living conditions are cheaper/taxes lower/salaries higher to save quicker.

15. Travel on a budget, if you’re going on holiday thing of creative ways to travel that will save you money. Stay at friends’ houses, get a self catering apartment so you don’t have to eat out at every meal, go camping instead of staying at a hotel.

16. For occasions – be creative with your gifts, rather than throwing lots of money at them

17. Think about if you really need a college degree or your children need a college degree to do what they want to do. If they want to be a doctor, they’ll need one, if they want to work in the media, then doing internships might be a better choice. Depending on where you live education costs loads, and is less likely to guarantee you a job then real experience.

18. Teach your kids how to make money for themselves from an early age by taking jobs or thinking like entrepreneurs and don’t spoil them with buying them rubbish and giving them everything they want.

These are just some of the tips I’ve gleamed from reading the two blogs above. It’s amazing that when I analysed my finances, I could suddenly see all the things I was wasting money on and where I could cut down. Commuting, lattes, eating out and clothes were my main expenditures which I’ve been able to cut down on, by cycling, making coffee at work/home, not eating out unless it’s a special occaision. For others it might also be gym membership, subscriptions, etc.

Let your money work for you

Once you’ve saved some money, think of how it can work for you. To be financially independent you need to leave your nest egg whole and live of your investments. You can invest in shares, property, bonds. To be honest I don’t know much about investing yet, because so far I haven’t much to invest, but you can find lots of investing tips on blogs like Monevator. For me it’s now important to save, and get the best value savings account, before I can start thinking about investing.

Saving can be fun

Some people argue that saving is no fun, why would they deprive themselves of the pleasure they can get from living the life they want now, because you never know what might happen tomorrow right? That’s true, but as I said buying things will not give you happiness and freedom, whereas if you save now you can be financially independent in 5 – 10 years time, and watching your bank balance grow can be an exhilarating feeling. You’ve also got the security that if something should happen and you don’t have work for some time you have the finances there to support you.

Think of it as a game, where you score points every time you make a wise spending choice. The more points (£s/$s) you have the better you are at the game. In fact reading some of the case studies on financial blogs, I found that some super rich people are so bored with having so much money, that they actually start saving as a type of game and then focus on doing some good with the extra money.

Saving requires planning

You need to organise your finances as if you were a company. Think of what your income is, what is your monthly spend, what is your budget, how much are you putting in every month into your savings account, what is your balance. Create a spreadsheet and plug-in your costs, how can you reduce your costs?

You need to do some planning to reduce your costs. Plan your meals for the week at home and at work. You can make a simple salad everyday to take to work with some bread and hummus, you can buy a loaf of bread and sandwich fillings for a week and make a sandwich every day. You can cook some soup at the weekend and take it to work, you can cook extra at dinner time and take it to work the next day.

Your holidays will also require more planning, how to have a good time and spend less? You need to compare all the deals and get the best ones. I went on a skiing holiday with some friends once who planned all their meals for the week and brought everything with them in the car and so didn’t spend any money on food at all. Whereas we spent loads of money on food because we didn’t plan in advance and ended up buying overpriced, low quality products in the only small shop that was close to us.

Only recently, I’ve realised that my father is an example of someone who used this strategy to retire relatively early (in his 50s). He did this by paying nothing for rent for a number of years, by living for free in exchange for providing his DIY skills. He saved all his money from his building business, almost never going out to eat, taking salads to work for lunch, although he did enjoy a daily take-out coffee habit. He traveled around a lot at the weekends in his van, cycling around different parts of the country and playing tennis. After saving enough he invested in buy to let property which he did up himself, and now he’s retired he’s still active, rebuilding the house himself and travelling around Europe in his camper van, and visiting Australia and East Asia, while still dabbling with investing in shares in his spare time.

Save but be generous where it counts

Saving is all well and good, but I’ve found that since I’ve been trying to implement it in my own life, I sometimes start feeling that I can’t be generous when I want to be, or think twice about going out, so I don’t spend money. I’m finding that keeping balance is key, so I allow myself to enjoy going out with friends, but perhaps suggest cheaper alternatives. I allow myself to buy gifts for people on occasions or visits, but use creativity rather than buying expensive stuff. Cutting out the things that don’t give me any value like buying clothes and getting take out coffees or buying lunch out when I’m at work are easy for me, because I don’t feel I’m missing out on anything instead I’m only gaining.

Money is only a tool, but having a prosperity mindset is key

I believe that our expectations of life is what becomes our manifest reality. If you believe you can’t be financially independent and you have to work at a job until your 60 or 70 then that’s what you’ll get. If you have a goal of reaching financial independence in a certain amount of time then you will find ways to do it. In the end money is only a tool, but really you could also loose all your money or inflation might cause it to be worthless. The main thing is your ability to manifest and make enough money whenever you need it and if you believe you deserve prosperity you will be wealthy.

Money can come easily or be hard to get depending on what your beliefs about it are. If you are generous and provide abundance to yourself and others without expecting anything in return then you will also get this back. This is the law of karma, what you reap is what you sow. It’s necessary to find a balance in saving as much as you can and not waste money on material things, but also remember to keep being generous and have a mentality of abundance rather than lack.

Money won’t buy you happiness, but it might buy you freedom

It’s true what they say that money won’t make you happy and some mega rich people are giving away all their money because that’s exactly what they found out. Having enough money to live on without working though, and learning to live well without spending tons of money, will provide the freedom for you to do what you want and to work only if and when you want. That sure sounds good to me, what do you think? What’s your plan?

Photo credit: Mailsparky

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Celestine Prophecy by James Redfield

Old forests have the highest energy

Old forests have the highest energy

I’ve just finished rereading the Celestine Prophecy by James Redfield. It’s a fiction book, and lists nine insights that are governing and changing our world. I read this book a while ago, but this time it had a more profound effect on me.

The main ideas that stuck with me were:

Significant coincidences
If we are in touch with the energy that governs all things the right people and thoughts come to us at the right time. Coincidences are not really coincidences, but they come to us to answer our life questions. When this happens we must have courage and follow where the path leads us to, so we can fulfill our evolution

We are here to continue evolution
With each coincidence, we move forward and evolve, reaching a higher and higher energy vibration.  Eventually our vibration is so high that people can become invisible and cross over to the other side, walk in and out of heaven. The Mayans walked over collectively, and that’s why they vanished.

Energy is in appreciating beauty
Everything has energy. But the best energy is in nature and in old forests. We can get energy by observing natural beauty and by imagining that we are breathing in energy.

Energy fields are actually observable and humans can pass on energy to others and plants for example. By eating only high quality vegetables and no animal products will help us observe energy fields.

All conflict and violence is a battle for energy. Humans compete for energy amongst themselves, by controlling each other and by unconsciously manipulating each other for energy.  When we become conscious of how we manipulate for energy, and how our parents and others manipulate others manipulate for energy we can put an end to it and move forward.

Watching out for messages
Everyone we have a conversation with has a message for us and we have a message for them. We need to find out what these messages are and communicate them to each other. When everyone does this our communication will slow down and become more purposeful. People will share life stories and then figure out what messages they have for one another.

We can have conscious conversations, by putting our full attention onto the person who is speaking at the moment. By seeing the beauty in each person we energise them and help them clarify their thoughts and speak more eloquently. On the other hand if we focus on what irritates us about someone, they suddenly feel less confident and beautiful and so their ideas and expression also suffers. By seeing the best in everyone, we send them energy and help them get their message across to us, which ultimately benefits us.

In order to give others energy, we must also replenish our energy from the universe constantly, so we are always have enough  by focusing on the beauty of nature and our surroundings and imagining we are breathing in energy.

Fulfilling relationships
All men and women are a letter C wanting to become an O by connecting with the energy of the opposite sex, for which they often seek a partner. But first we need to become an O by ourselves, by learning to get the male or female energy that compliments us from the universe

If we connect with a person to get this energy, before we have learnt to get it ourselves, eventually we cut ourselves off from the universal energy source and instead our relationship turns into a power struggle, as we seek to manipulate the other person to give us more energy because we don’t know how to get it ourselves anymore. To have a fully functioning relationship you need two people that are already self sufficient when it comes to providing both male and female energy for themselves.

This idea could be taken literally, but also in the sense that first we have to be happy being on our own, and not depend on having a partner for validation. Only after that can we really be happy in a relationship as we won’t depend on it to give us everything we need.

Celestine vision
In the future humans will not destroy natural beauty anymore and will only preserve the planet, because they will realise that they need the energy that comes from old forests. People will change jobs often so they can find their calling and do good by serving others. People will need to work less and less and one person will only do one third of what is traditionally one normal job now, because most things will be automated.

This will free up lots of time for people to evolve quicker. Eventually there will be no need to work at all, as people will pay each other for the messages they provide to each other. For example if someone gives you a message that helps answer one of your life questions and makes your life evolve to the next level, you would give them money and vice versa. This way people will always have more than enough money, and they won’t need much because they won’t consume excessively as they will realise that material things are not important. They will only buy what they really need. Spiritual evolution will be the journey and the goal as opposed to material gain.

While reading this utopian vision, I thought of lots of people that I owe money to. These are the people that have given me messages that have moved my life forward in some way, although often I only realise this later.

These people are not usually close to me, but more acquaintances and somehow a post on Facebook or something they suggested in passing when we spoke, has inspired me to go out and buy a book or try something, which moves my life into a different direction. They were meant to tell me that message at that time.

Messages and inspiration is everywhere, we just need to look out for it and go with it when it comes.

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Is being contrary good or bad?

Nothing is black or white

Nothing is black or white

My friends say about me that I’m a contrary person…Mary, Mary quite contrary. My friend asked me, why are you so contrary? Is it because you’re afraid of being wrong? At my 30th birthday recently two of my friends discussed why I’m so contrary and never stick to anything for too long. In my coaching session, not sticking with anything for long enough came up as one of my issues.

I ask myself often, why am I contrary?

It has often happened in my life, that I have chosen a path, or decided something, I do it with intensity for a while, but then I give up on it and get equally passionate about something else, until I leave that for something else as well.

Some ideas, goals, hobbies and relationships stick around longer than others, but so far they have all come and gone. I have a brilliant new idea right now, which I believe I will stick with, but then again I thought that about all the other things I decided before as well.

Do I have the grass is always greener syndrome?

It’s not for the lack of determination or will power that I give up on things. It’s simply because I think something is for me and get excited about it. I give it my all and pursue it 100%. Then somewhere down the line, I realise it’s not really for me, because of X, Y and Z and I move on to the next thing.

Some might say not having one stable opinion is a sign of weak character, but I like to think it’s because I actually give all these things a good go, I learn what I need to about them, just enough to realise that they’re not for me. My coach said that’s  a good way of looking at it, but he didn’t seem completely convinced.

I’m not sure I believe in astrology, but I read somewhere that being contrary is typical for my Aries star sign. Passionate and excited in the beginning, but quickly looses interest in anything that doesn’t keep them on their toes.

Keeping an open mind

Some of my truths have stayed with me for a very long time and I do hope they remain. But at the same time I, nor anyone else, can ever claim to know the truth, because if I do, I’d close my mind to other ideas.

I believe one needs to be open to all views and not defend their position no matter what. I was like that in the past. I believed I knew the truth and would always fight my corner. In the end though, this left me closed minded and I never learnt anything new, because I was trying to explain things through my already defined world view.

Some of my views were restricting me,  so I got rid of them. It happened because eventually what I had believed was true, didn’t make sense anymore to me. I found myself internally justifying things I didn’t feel were right anymore, until I realised I must accept that I  need to change some of my beliefs about life.

I now try to keep my mind open to anything and since then, I’ve been growing in only positive ways. Sometimes I wish I would stick with things longer, so I could make more headway, but at the same time, the fact that my thinking and goals keep developing makes me excited about the future.

I change my mind all the time

Every time I have a yet another new epiphany, I love the enthusiasm and drive I get that comes with it and every time I hope that this is finally my what I want to be doing with my life.

I have a feeling that I am getting closer and closer to my purpose and that drives me to continue searching and not get stuck with something, just because I choose it once in the past, if it doesn’t resonate with me anymore. One day I can see things one way and the next day in a different way. It depends on the situation I’m thinking about, my mood, the day. I might have a new realisation  or read a new book which changes my outlook on things. My friends say I always believe everything I read, I’m easily swayed, until I read the next thing.

It’s true. But it keeps things exciting and keeps me motivated, so why resist it? The world is so full of information, and I feel that I’m still only scratching the surface. I want to find the Truth with the big T and that means being open to it, when it comes. But even if I find that Truth, I can think I’ve found it, but be ready to let it go if a bigger Truth comes forward.

It’s like with science. Scientists always claim to know something until another discovery comes along that shakes their beliefs.

We all have access to the Truth

In the end I believe that we all have access to the Truth. When we read something which resonates with us, we somehow recognise it as the truth. In this sense, we have known all along we just needed to be reminded. Most spiritual truths are simple and universal, but much has been already been written about them. As Mark Twain said, “All ideas are second hand.” So why read so much, when it’s all a repetition of what we know deep down anyway?

Well because we need to be reminded constantly why we’re here, as it’s so easy to forget about what is really important and get caught up in the everyday business of life.

I cannot tell you any spiritual Truth that deep within you don’t know already. All I can do is remind you of what you have forgotten. ~Eckhart Tolle

Although all spiritual truths are eternal and simple, sometimes the writer puts the words in such a way, that we finally really understand what a concept means and because of this, rewriting old truths is still essential.

Nothing is black and white

Nothing is black and white only, our understanding of truths keeps developing and shifting, that’s why we need to remain open to everything and keep revaluating our beliefs to make sure they still hold.

Sometimes something we have always thought was true, stops being true for us. We realise that perhaps it was just society that told us to think this. We realise that perhaps historically something wasn’t always true and that makes us question our beliefs.

Re-examining all our beliefs and why we believe them might be hard, but we may find that what we always thought was true, is not so certain. This will rock our world, but ultimately enrich it, as it will allow news ways of thinking in.

Practicing non-judgment

Not judging things as good or bad is hard, but also immensely liberating. It frees your mind from chatter and makes you realise that nothing is good or bad, only thinking makes it so.

If the world we live in is never black and white and always full of contradictions and different angles and perceptions of looking at things, if there is good and bad in everything, surely being contrary can’t be that bad. This ambivalence and duality in all things has been put on this earth, to make us think, discover and ponder what we see around us. And when we think we’ve finally got it, we realise that we’ve only just began the journey.

They say the more you know about a topic, the less you know. Because suddenly you are over whelmed with information, and more keeps coming in all the time, that in the end it’s better to accept that we can never know anything for sure, because we might discover something tomorrow, that challenges our assumptions. It’s scary, it’s fun, it’s life.

Photo credit: Zach Den Adel

 

 

 

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Turning 30

30, but I still want to have my cake and eat it.

30, but I still want to have my cake and eat it.

I turned 30 last month.  It felt strange to be 30 at first, it feels like such a big number, a number by when you should have accomplished more, be clear on your career, have met the partner of your life, have had kids, a house, car, mortgage.

Then again age is relative. My colleague who just turned 25 was bemoaning the fact that she is now ‘old’ whereas my 94 year old landlady Peggy, used to call everyone below 70  a baby. Her own daughter was around 70 and she looks damn good for her age, her body in a swimsuit sure looks better than mine. She got remarried again at 60 after being single for about 20 years, so there.

Some women in their 30s start panicking, and get into relationships with men that they wouldn’t have gone for 5 years ago, because they are desperate. They think if I miss my chance now to have kids it might never happen, so they settle for Mr Good Enough.

I recently spoke to a friend who said that she was going to get back together with her ex boyfriend, because she reckoned that, he loved her and although she wasn’t sure she really loved him, love would develop eventually.  The main thing was that they had a common vision to settle down. She doesn’t feel ready to settle down yet, but she feels like she has to do it at some point anyway, so why not with him? Why not anyone suitable in fact?

There is an argument for this approach.  It’s almost the same as the argument for arranged marriages. People just get married and make it work. In arranged marriages and in some cultures, divorce wasn’t an option, so either you were lucky enough to get on and if you didn’t you just endured it until you died and hoped for something better to come afterwards. Although this approach might have worked in the past, today’s generation of people will not be with someone if they are not happy with them.  It’s not such a taboo to get divorced anymore, in fact it’s more of a rarity not to get divorced at least once these days.

The ideal relationship doesn’t exist people say, so why wait for something that is not real?

Because I believe in the One

Ok, maybe there’s more than one One as my friend used to say and perhaps I’m hopelessly optimistic, but I believe in finding a Mr Right as opposed to Mr Good Enough. I believe in finding the person that is perfect for me in, I believe he exists (or a few of them exist).

I have no proof, as I haven’t met him yet and lost him. All I have to go on is my gut feeling that he is there and if I settle for Mr Good Enough I’d be betraying myself. I also have ‘evidence’ from couples I have observed and where I think they really are perfect together. You just feel that there’s something that makes them compatible, the way they interact when you see them and the way they talk about their partner, all that they do and say exudes the feeling that they are right for each other.

Then there are also some couples, where you just think they’re not really right for each other when you meet them. These observations are hard to prove, they are just a feeling I have and as an outsider it’s hard to tell if I’m right or wrong when it comes to judging others’ relationships. Although marriage expert John Gottman claims to be able to predict if a marriage will fail with 94% accuracy after listening to how a couple argue for 15 minutes.

One partner for life?

While I believe in finding the One,  I also think that perhaps the idea that a partner is for life is unrealistic. While it would be amazing if it did happen and it seems there are a lucky few out there for whom it has happened, most people have a few partners at least in their lifetime. People change and outgrow each other, or go in different directions. We live much longer now than we used to so it would make sense that a partnership would last about 10 years or so. Perhaps there is a One for each period in a lifetime?

Not caring what others think

There are all these assumptions we have about what is correct and incorrect behaviour in life. We have them unconsciously, they are deeply ingrained in us. What if we were to turn them upside down? Society says we should have kids by a certain age, that certain types of behaviour is bad, that people should wear clothes, that we need to wear certain clothes for certain occasions.

As much as I rebel  internally against these things, I can’t help but mostly conform. I really want to go to a black tie dinner wearing whatever the hell I want and feel good and not care what people think. But I can’t. If I wear jeans and torn jumper, I’ll feel self conscious and uncomfortable. People will make negative comments, they won’t accept me, so I wear a dress and nice shoes and put on make-up and look presentable. I do what is expected.

Why have kids?

I was thinking the other day, I’m 30, society says it’s time to start thinking about babies. I always assumed I want babies, but why? Do I really want them or do I just want them because society wants me to want them?

Kids are a lot of work. While giving life, I’m sure is a miraculous and amazing experience, it’s also bloody painful I hear. Some kids are a joy, but others are little terrors. There is no guarantee that you’ll actually like your kids or they will like you when they grow up. You can’t choose your kids like you can choose your friends. You instinctively love them, sure when they are little, because you are hard wired to protect them and love them for the human species to survive.

Perhaps I want to have kids, because growing up as an only child, I never experienced what it is to have a big family and I always envied those who had it. Although some families are very close, some hate each other. There are children and parents and siblings who have no contact at all, so the idea of one big happy family is also never a given.

In the past people would have kids, partly because they wanted them, but partly because they didn’t have a choice. Contraception didn’t exist and you needed kids to look after you when you were old and to work for you when you couldn’t. When you got married you just had kids, society expected it of you and if you didn’t you were seen as a failure (which seems still to be the opinion of most of society these days).

Your kids might not look after you when you’re old

I work for a charity that supports older people. In the UK the amount of old people that live alone is very high. In the West, older people are often put into care homes, because their children are not willing to move them in with them and look after them. In the Czech Republic, the situation is somewhat better. Many houses have a ‘granny flat’ downstairs, where the aged grandmother lives and her children and grandchildren look after her.  This is also possible because people don’t move around so much.

Here many people move to another city and do not live in proximity to their elderly parents.  So assuming your kids will look after you when you’re old is not a valid reason to have them anymore, as it might not happen. And if it does they’ll look after you reluctantly and wish they didn’t have to. So it’s just better to think about old age early and live in a community or co-housing project where you can pick the people you want to live with.

I know I’m only 30 but working in a older people’s charity has made me realise, how many older people have not prepared for their later life at all. They have no savings, they don’t think about how they are going to live when they retire. They expect the state and their kids to look after them. But the state will not give you enough money to survive. Many older people in the UK are poor, lonely and cold. They even die of the cold, because the heating systems are so rubbish and they have no money to get better ones.

Prepare for all possibilities, but accept none of them might happen

What I have learnt, is prepare now for your future. Don’t think the state or children will look after you because they might not.  You can have an amazing time travelling the world when you retire at 70 or you can be poor and freezing, depending on how you prepare now.

But hey I’m jumping ahead somewhat I’m only 30 now and not 70 so whatever happened to living in the moment? Living in the moment doesn’t mean not planning for you future.  My wise landlady Peggy used to have a saying on her wall:

 ”God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and wisdom to know the difference.”

So, I’m 30. I’m not panicking, but I’m planning for each possibility that can happen in my life and prepare for it, mentally and financially as much as I can. That way I won’t be surprised if something doesn’t happen or if it does happen, either way I’ll be ready.

But even though I’ll plan for every eventuality, I also welcome uncertainty which is the spice of life and accept that sometimes things might turn out completely differently to what I had expected. I will accept each moment as it comes and believe that every moment is as it should be and is necessary in my journey. Even if I can’t see it now, I will see it one day.

I trust my intuition. If my intuition warns me about something or tells me to choose something, I listen to it. I keep striving to increase my consciousness and align myself as much as I can with the Divine and trust that if I do this I will be guided to the path that’s right for me, and I will experience whatever is my destiny.

I’m grateful for all the great things and amazing people I have around me now and excited about what new experiences and people the future holds. But, I won’t do things just because society says I should achieve them by a certain time, or settle for anything less than what I feel is right for me, because if anything is meant to be it will happen and if not it won’t. I pray that now and always, I will have serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to tell the difference.

 

 

 

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Deepak Chopra: The Seven Spiritual Laws of Success

1215808_coloured_daisyI’ve just finished reading Deepak Chopra’s The Seven Spiritual Laws of Success. It’s the first book of his I’ve read and I really liked his clear writing and message. Here is my summary of the seven laws:

1.       The Law of Pure Potentiality.
“The source of all creation is pure consciousness…
Pure potentiality seeking expression from the unmanifest to the manifest.
and when we realise that our true Self is one
of pure potentiality, we align with the power
that manifests everything in the universe.”

Deepak Chopra beautifully expresses what I believe, that there are moments when we can connect with the soul of the universe, God, energy or whatever you want to name it.

When we connect to this energy we feel inspired, creative, blissful and we have access to all the knowledge that exists. In that sense a person doesn’t have to be formally educated in anything, but if they have the skill to be able to connect with this universal  field, than they have access to all the deepest knowledge about life, our purpose and spirituality that has ever existed.

Chopra writes that our ego is constantly seeking approval of others and seeks to control things, therefore it is fear based. But when we connect with our true Self, our spirit or soul then we are completely free of fear and external approval.

The true Self “is unfearful of any challenge, and it feels beneath no one. And yet, it is also humble and feels superior to no one, because it recognised that everyone else is the same Self, the same spirit in different disguises.”

The ego is our self image. The ego’s power is based only on external factors and therefore limited. It only feels powerful for example because of a certain title, being a CEO or having lots of money. Once this external object of reference is gone so is the power.

“Self-power on the other hand, is permanent, because it is based on the knowledge of the Self…it draws people to you, and it also draws things that you want to you. It magnetises people, situations, and circumstances to support your desires. It is the support of divinity…your power is such that you enjoy a bond with people, and people enjoy a bond with you…a bonding that comes from true love.”

How to access the power of pure potentiality?

Spending time in silence, practising meditation, being in nature and practicing non-judgment is the way to connect with this field.

- Spend time alone and just be. That means no TV, radio, books, talking. Spend at least one hour in silence per day.

Meditate. Chopra recommends at least 30 minutes of meditation in the morning and 30 minutes in the evening. But if you’re new to mediation start with shorter time periods, even 10 minutes a day is good and slowly build up to more if you feel like it.

- Spend time in nature and appreciate the intelligence within every living thing, this will help you gain access to field of pure potentiality.

- Practice non-judgement.  “Judgment is the constant evaluation of things as right or wrong, good or bad. When you are constantly evaluating, classifying, labeling  analysing, you create a lot of turbulence in your internal dialogue. This turbulence constricts the flow of energy between you and the field of pure potentiality.”

- “Start each day with the statement ‘Today I shall judge nothing that occurs.’ Non-judgement creates silence in your mind.” And throughout the day remind yourself of this statement when you find yourself judging something.

Silence and stillness, meditation and non-judgement will give you access to the field of pure potentiality. These are the first steps in “manifesting your desires, because in stillness lies your connection to the field of pure potentiality that can orchestrate an infinity of details for you.

“You must learn to get in touch with the innermost essence of your being. This true essence is beyond the ego. It is fearless; it is free; it is immune to criticism; it does not fear any challenge. It is beneath no one, superior to no one, and full of magic, mystery and enchantment.”

2. The Law of Giving

What you give is what you get. “The more you give the more you will receive…if you want joy, give joy to others; if you want love, learn to give love; if you want attention and appreciation, learn to give attention and appreciation; if you want material affluence, help others to become materially affluent. In fact, the easiest way to get what you want is to help others get what they want.”

Whenever you meet someone, give them a gift. “The gift may be a compliment, a flower or a prayer.”

3. The Law of “Karma” or Cause and Effect

“Every action generates a force of energy that returns to us in like kind…what we sow is what we reap. And when we choose actions that bring happiness and success to others, the fruit of our karma is happiness and success.”

Where we are now, whether we like it or not is because of the choices we made in the past. All the time we are making choices, many are habitual. We need to witness them and see that we can change the choices we make everyday, if we want to get different outcomes. We need to be present to fully prepare for the future.

Whenever you make a choice ask yourself: “What are the consequences of this choice that I’m making?” and “Will this choice bring fulfillment and happiness to me and also to those who are affected by this choice?” If it brings happiness go ahead with it. If it doesn’t, then don’t.

Ask your heart for guidance when making a decision. If your heart feels comfortable at the thought of a decision, do it. If your heart feels uncomfortable, then pause and think about the consequences before you make the choice.

4. The Law of Least Effort

The universe functions with ease. If your goals are motivated by love and not personal gain then they will come about easily and you won’t have to struggle to achieve them.

Acceptance – You need to accept people and situations as they are and accept this moment as it is. If you are struggling against this moment, you’re struggling against the whole universe, because the universe is always as it should be. You can wish for things in the future to be different, but you need to accept the present as it is.

Responsibility – take responsibility for the situation you are in, don’t blame anyone or anything else. If you do this, every situation, even an upsetting situation, will turn into a seed of opportunity and the awareness of it will lead to you being able to transform this situation creatively to your advantage.

Defenselessness - Don’t defend your point of view. “When you have no point to defend, you do not allow the birth of an argument.” Follow the path of no resistance and “remain open to all points of view – not rigidly attached to only one.”

5. The Law of Intention and Desire

Everything in the world is energy, even you. In this sense, all the energy in the world is connected and your body and soul is not separate from the body and soul of the universe.

You’re at your most essential state of being when you are present. When you slip into the silent gap between your thoughts. If you release your desires and goals when you are in this state your intention and its fulfillment will be the most effective.

When you are in the gap there is no thought or intention, but when you are coming out of the gap and into thought, this is the best time to release your intentions.

It’s best to focus on your goals before you go into meditation for example and then think of them again when you are coming out of it.

Write down the list of your desires and goals and carry them with you. Look at this list before your silence and mediation. Look at it before you go to sleep at night. Look at it in the morning when you wake up.

6. Law of Detachment

Practice detached involvement – you can have intentions and desires to attain your goals, but you should always remain detached from the expected outcome. There is no conflict between this. If you practice detachment then you will not miss any other opportunities that come your way, because you are so attached to what you want the outcome to be.

People crave security – but when you accept that you can never have security, you will invite uncertainty and detachment into your life. You should learn to love uncertainty because it brings fun, adventure and creates new and exciting possibilities.

7. The Law of “Dharma” or Purpose in Life.

“Everyone has a purpose in life…a unique gift or special talent to give to others. And when we blend this unique talent with service to others, we experience ecstasy and exultation of our own spirit, which is the ultimate goal of all goals.”

I recently wrote a post about how finding your calling and using it to help others is the meaning of life, and this chapter echoes this.

We are spiritual beings having a human experience. Firstly, each of us has to discover our higher or spiritual self.  Secondly, we must find our unique talents (every human has one). Thirdly, we have to use this talent to serve our fellow human beings, and constantly ask ourselves the question: “How can I help?

Ask yourself: “If you had all the time and money in the world what would you do?” to get a clue of what your calling might be. When you find your passion, you’ll lose track of time when doing it.

Writing about books

I loved this book and would fully recommend it. Some of the messages I just needed reminding of, but some tips and insights were new to me, and made me change the way I did things.

Recently I thought that perhaps I should stop writing about the books I read, and instead focus on my own insights, to avoid repetition. But then I got a message from one of my readers who said that he was inspired because of my blog to buy the book New Earth by Eckhart Tolle, and it had a profound effect on him. This gave me the inspiration I needed to continue writing about books, because if I can do some good in anyway and be a link in a chain to spread consciousness, then it makes it all worthwhile.

Wishing you a happy Easter and every success on your journeys.

Love, Maia

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Focus, self discipline and love are essential for reaching your goals

Goals are easier to achieve when they're not just about you.

Goals are easier to achieve when they’re not just about you.

To achieve your goals you have to be self disciplined and organised, making sure you constantly focus on the objectives you want to achieve. You need to cut out all time wasters and let go of your targets that are not relevant anymore, to make time for new ones. If you want your goals to fulfill you, your motivation should be love and helping others.

You might have set goals, but you never seem to have the time to work on them because other things always get in the way. This means that you are lacking self discipline and focus, or you really are just too busy and have to decide where you priorities lie and what you can cut out.

Goal setting

If you don’t have any goals, get some! Life isn’t worth living without having anything to work towards. Have a list of your main goals and smaller ones and work through them.

Work on up to three of your main goals at a time. Write them down on your computer screen or somewhere you can see them often and read them out every time you put the computer on.

Make a written plan as to what steps you need to take to get where you want to be and set aside time in your diary to carry them out. You need to train yourself to be self disciplined enough to work on your targets even though you might not feel like it at that very moment.

Don’t wait for when the time is right to start on your goals. Don’t wait for when you finish this or that, because the time will never be right, and if you don’t start working on your goals now, you might never have the time to achieve them.

Focus on your goals

It’s key to focus on your goals, reviewing your goal list regularly and having your goals in your mind constantly, making sure you are taking steps towards achieving them.

If a fringe interest is taking up so much time that it’s preventing you from focusing on your goals you need to get rid of it. For me this was rowing. I realised that even though I love rowing, it’s taking too much of my time and stopping me from making progress on the things that are more important to me. So I had to make the difficult decision and quit.

Focusing on your goals, doesn’t mean that your goals can’t change. Sometimes, you realise that the goal you’ve been working towards is not what you want anymore. Then you need to make an often difficult choice and abandon it, so you have time to work on your new goals.

This might mean letting go of something that you’ve worked very hard on and are emotionally attached to. But giving up on goals that are not relevant to you anymore is not failure, it just means that your priorities have changed and you’ve learnt something from it.

Do a Time Audit

Think about how much time you waste on a regular day. Do a time audit and think of the key moments you are wasting your time. If you slump in from of the TV for a couple of hours when you get back from work, then this is something you could easily cut out and use it more productively. Do you play video games, do you read trashy novels, do you sleep more than you need to? All this is time you could spend more productively.

Streamline any processes you can to free up time. For example, I freed up more time by cycling to work. By cycling, I use the time and money I usually waste on the bus and tube, by using it to exercise and so cut out time and gym membership fees I would have to spend on exercising after I finish work.

If you have goals outside of your day job, then you need to spend as much time working on them as you can. It’s also important to spend quality time with friends and family, relaxing and having fun but it does not include idling your time away in any way. Time is the most precious resource we have and wasting it is the biggest shame of all.

Your goals need to create value

Your goals should be aimed at creating value rather than material wealth.

If your goal is just to make enough money so you can get a bigger house or a new car for yourself or become more powerful over others to please your ego then don’t expect that this will make you more fulfilled in the long run.

But if your goals are aimed at developing yourself and are driven by love and improving the lives of others, then you will achieve satisfaction when you reach the goal and continue to benefit from it, because you are doing it for the greater good.

Providing for your family or bringing a service or knowledge to others will create happiness for you and everyone else. If your goals are motivated by love and the desire to aid the evolution of yourself and others, then people, circumstances and the universe will also be on your side and want to help you in achieving a worthy goal.

“Before you embark on any path ask the question, does this path have a heart? If the answer is no, you will know it and then you must choose another path. The trouble is that nobody asks the question. And when a man finally realises that he has taken a path without a heart the path is ready to kill him.”
- Carlos Castaneda

Further reading: Steve Pavlina’s series on Self Discipline

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Are humans herbivores, carnivores or omnivores?

Now this is one carnivore I love.

Now this is one carnivore I love.

Scientific evidence shows that anatomically humans are herbivores. Our stomachs, digestive system,  jaws, teeth, saliva and intestines are the same as that of herbivores and significantly different to carnivores and omnivores. So why are we still eating meat?

There has been an ongoing dispute in our household, and in my mind, about if humans are biologically herbivores, carnivores or omnivores. My mum wants to eat meat for dinner almost every day, whereas I tell her that eating meat is not healthy. I thought I would settle this dispute once and for all by doing a simple search online and finding lots of sites and statistics that explain if we are herbivores or omnivores.

To my surprise I found hardly anything on the topic and no quality websites that explain this question scientifically. I was expecting perhaps medical sites or scientific research on this topic to be everywhere on the internet, but no. There a few blogs and discussion forums on the subject, which mostly disagree with each other, but no ‘serious sites.’

The two most trustworthy and official looking articles I found on the topic are on the PETA site (People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals), who obviously have an agenda, but also are a well known charity so couldn’t afford to be putting lies on their website. And another one on the Vegsource site by Doctor Milton R. Mills on the anatomical differences between carnivores, omnivores, herbivores and why humans are anatomical herbivores.

But why can’t I find more official information on this topic? My assumption is because there is no conclusive research on it and because there are industries that do not want to see this type of research published (meat and dairy industry), or maybe it seems like such an obvious topic to most that no one has bothered to put up any official information online.

But I still want to know the truth, are humans herbivores or omnivores. First, let’s start with hard facts.

Are human bodies designed to eat vegetables, meat or both?

Fact: Human anatomy is the same as the anatomy of herbivores not omnivores or carnivores. 

Stomach – carnivores’ stomachs are 20X more acidic than the stomachs of herbivores, because carnivores don’t chew their meat, they swallow it whole. Human stomachs are same as herbivore stomachs.

Saliva – carnivores have acidic saliva, herbivores and humans have alkaline saliva, which helps pre-digest plant foods.

Jaws, teeth, claws – humans, like other herbivores don’t have the jaws, teeth and claws to kill an animal.

Cholesterol –  is only found in animal products and is detrimental to human and herbivore health but doesn’t affect carnivores.

Intestines – carnivores have shorter intestines 3 – 6X their body length and they are smooth inside so meat can pass through them quickly. Herbivores and humans have long intestines about 10 times their body length, with lots of bumps and pockets for plant food to pass through slowly so as many nutrients as possibly can be taken from them.

Omnivore anatomy

Omnivores, such as bears, are more similar to carnivores in their anatomical structure, than they are to herbivores. This is because in the wild they still need to be able to kill and eat prey with their own hands so to speak, and so in order to have more dominant herbivore features they would have to commit to eating plant only based foods and stop being reliant on feeding off meat. So despite humans being cultural omnivores, they are not anatomical omnivores.

Excess protein makes us ill

All animal products are protein. Humans nowadays eat twice as much protein than they need to. Excess protein leads to osteoporosis, kidney stones and has been linked to cancer.

And now for the soft facts…

Instincts

Instinctively we are not programmed to go out and kill an animal. When we see a cow in the meadow we don’t have the urge to go and kill it and eat it with our bare hands and tear it apart with our teeth. Whereas if we see an apple tree or a strawberry bush we are drawn to picking the fruits and eating them.

Why do humans eat meat then?

In the past humans started eating meat to survive, when there were no vegetables and fruit available. Humans started eating meat when they discovered fire because they could cook meat, they didn’t eat it raw. Raw meat could lead to food poisoning in humans, because unlike carnivores their stomachs are not strongly acidic to kill bacteria. Historically, meat was expensive and eaten only on special occasions and not daily and sometimes even twice a day like people do now.

Why does meat taste so good?

Surely instinctively we should know what’s good for us and what isn’t? If we weren’t meant to eat meat why does it taste so good and why do we crave it? Perhaps we crave meat for its iron and protein intake as we are not eating the right plant based foods to make up for it. Perhaps it’s like with sugar. We crave the cake, but after we eat it we feel sick.

Why do most doctors recommend we eat meat and dairy for a healthy diet?

My only guess it that this is what they’ve been taught and like the rest of us have been led into believing that eating meat and dairy is necessary for our health. Sometimes it seems that people think that eating meat is more important than eating any vegetables. Often if you tell someone that you don’t eat meat, they will say how you really need meat and how unhealthy you are being, but the same person might not eat any fruit and veg because they just never get around to it and don’t see it as an issue. A simple survey of my fellow shoppers trolley, often confirms that most people buy hardly any fruit and veg compared to the amount of low-quality meat and other junk they eat.

It’s not ethical

Eating standard value meat is not ethical or healthy. Mass factory farming treats animals in an unacceptable way. They live in crammed and filthy conditions, get fed antibiotics and all sorts of other rubbish that you then consume as well when you eat them. They are killed in a way that they often suffer during the process and effectively are subjected to torture. As Linda McCartney once said “If slaughterhouses had glass walls, the whole world would be vegetarian.”

Even if you buy organic and free range meat, there is still the unavoidable ethical issue of killing an animal unnecessarily, just to eat it, when you could have easily done without it.

Conclusion: humans are herbivores

In the end with mixed messages coming from everywhere, it can be hard to know what is the best thing for us. But everyone has to make their own decision, based on the evidence that is available and on their own feelings. For me, the evidence I listed in this post clearly shows that humans are anatomically herbivores. We don’t need to eat meat to be healthy. We just eat it because it tastes good and because that’s what we’ve been taught to do.  But in reality meat is bad for us, bad for animals and bad for the planet.

So my conclusion is: humans are herbivores. What’s yours?

Recommended book: Skinny Bitch, by Rory Freedman includes scientific arguments for eating a plant based diet and includes a horrific portrayal of how badly animals suffer on factory farms (based on the US meat industry).

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What is the meaning of life?

What's your calling?

What’s your calling?

The meaning of life is different for everyone. It’s based on beliefs and on if a person has found their calling. Finding your calling is the first step to discovering your meaning of life, and asking yourself some well targeted questions could lead to finding out what your purpose is.

What is the meaning of my life?

It’s not a small question to ask, but it should be the essential question we ask ourselves, if we want to be happy. I am constantly searching for and learning new things and I believe that this is because I want to discover the meaning of my life. I want to find my calling and discover the Truth or truths of life.

I remember having a conversation with a friend where I said: ‘All I want to know is the Truth, what is the Truth? It’s not too much to ask, is it?’ He laughed and answered: ‘What is the meaning of life? That is a question people have been trying to figure out since the dawn of time and, so perhaps it is quite a lot to ask.’

People with a calling

When I see people that have found their calling, I can see that they have discovered their meaning of life. Most often these people are doing something that helps others in some way, and gives their work meaning.

The meaning of life is to find your calling, the thing that you excel in the most, and that in some way helps others around you in a meaningful way.

My recent experience at a hospital enabled me to meet someone who had found their calling. This person was a nurse who was looking after my mother and he was brilliant. He was so helpful, optimistic, intelligent, supportive and gave my mum the emotional support she needed throughout her stay. You could tell straight away, that despite his job being very difficult, in an often inefficient, low paying, and under-staffed  health system, this person had found his calling.

When you meet someone who is doing their calling, you can tell.

Finding your calling is easier said than done if you’re not sure what your calling is. How are you meant to find it? Is it even possible for everyone to have a calling? Who would then be left to do the mundane non-calling work that no one else wants to do?

Does this mean that everyone needs to find their calling, or is it rather that they make a calling out of whatever they are doing? Probably it’s a combination of both. There will always be some things you naturally excel at, but at the same time there are things about even mundane jobs that you can make enjoyable with the right attitude. The answer for me would be to do as much as you can to find your calling, but also make the most of what you are already doing on your journey to get there.

How to find your calling?

Ask yourself the right questions:

If you could do anything without worrying about money, what would it be?

What jobs have you tried and what parts did you like and dislike about them?

Based on what you liked about your jobs so far and what you think you’d enjoy doing, what would be your ideal work?

What steps would you need to take to make this happen?

What is stopping you from taking those steps?

The above questions are based on a coaching session I had recently, which focused on my issue of not knowing what to focus on in my professional life and constantly hopping from one idea to the next.

I realised that what was stopping me from taking steps to make my ideal job happen was that it was because I didn’t think I was good enough to succeed, compared to others out there. This made me identify the obstacle and the negative belief that had stopped me from trying to achieve my goal.

Once I saw that it was this belief that was stopping me, I knew how to overcome it.     ‘You’ll never know if you’re good enough if you don’t try’ said the coach, and she was right.

If you’re struggling with what you want to do in your life, it might be helpful to ask yourself these questions, and answer them honestly. They definitely gave me the clarity that I needed.

In the end, we are what we choose to believe and identifying our negative beliefs that are stopping us from achieving our goals and replacing them with positive ones is the first step to finding your calling and your meaning of life.

 

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